The Week In Review

As we head into the final weeked of humanity as we know it, at least according to the same whackjob who predicted the world would end 17 years ago, I decided to recap the week that was in the screwed up world of Pittsburgh Pirates Baseball:

Sunday- The Bucs took on the Brontosaurus and his Crew in an attempt to actually win a game in Milwaukee. After being shellacked 8-2 the previous night, the Bucs were looking to save face at a ball park that has been nothing but a House of Horrors for them. In typical Bucs fashion, they were handed another deflating loss at the by the Brew Crew, this time snatching defeat from the jaws of potential victory, nearly mounting an impossible comeback. Trailing 6-0 heading into the 5th inning, the Bucs managed to put together a 5 run inning to cut the Brewers lead to 1. It was, as is almost always the case, all for naught as All-Star Candidate Chris Resop surrendered a 2 run HR in the bottom half of the inning effectively squashing any chance of getting back into the game and avoiding another sweep.

Series Recap- The Brewers took all 3 games in this one, outscoring the Pirates by a total score of 22-10, which is a vast improvement over last year's living nightmare at the JotNS where the Pirates appeared to finally hit bottom for the 426th time since 1992, being outscored 36-1 over the 3 home games. That's right folks: 36-1, I couldn't make that up if I tried.

This series also featured the "Take $1 off the ticket price for every run scored during the series" promo. I wonder if a.) it was a coincidence the FO chose a series being played in a Park where the Bucs typically suck it up and b.) Nuthouse wanted to bench the players who drove in 5 runs in the 5th inning Sunday.

Monday- The Bucs moved on to the Nation's capital to take on an equally terrible Nationals team for a 2 game set. It was another day in the life of Christian Husband Paul Maholm, who pitched well enough to win but got no run support in return. As a result, his season record plummeted to an undeserved 1-6 for the season. The Bucs left 9 men on base total and 6 in scoring position. They also managed another mind numbing failure when they attempted to have Maholm squeeze home catcher Chris Snyder, he of the ZERO CAREER STOLEN BASE variety, ending in a caught stealing home in the box score.

Tuesday- This turned out to be a fruitful day for both sides of the warring Bucs fans factions. For the Pro's it was a good day because the Bucs didn't lose thanks in part to a rain out. For the Anti's, it was an even better day thanks to the Lying Liar's upholding of his employee's First Amendment rights and yet another drop in the endless bucket of FO stupidity. I am not going to elaborate right now on the events of the Tuesday, but it was the impetus for us at the Mutiny to finally start this blog.


Wednesday- This was another great day for the Nutter camp as the Bucs 6 game losing streak came to a screeching hault in a 5-0 win over the scorching hot Cinci Reds. Great Stuff Morton went the distance, pitching a CG shutout. The only real headscratcher in this one was Lyle Overpaid swinging at a 3-0 pitch with men on base and popping it straight up. Luckily, it harmessly drifted a few rows into the seats in foul territory. The Human Strikeout Machine, or Kdro, belted his 2nd HR of the season, with 2 men on base no less, and Cutch put it out of reach with a 2-run blast of his own. Had Mr. Sunshine been on TV and not the radio side, all 12 people watching the game would have had an uncomfortable moment when he was forced to awkwardly tuck his massive erection into his belt after uttering "Raiiiiiiiise the Jolly Roger!".

This also marks the official birthdate of the Mutiny.

Thursday- If you haven't noticed, and judging by attendance, you haven't, the Bucs won a second consecutive game on this date, defeating the Reds by a final score of 5-3. Pucks_and_Pols recap nicely covers the action as the Buc pulled withing 3 games of .500 heading into a weekend interleague series with the Tigers. I would say Interleague Play is the Pirates Kryptonite, but then I would be comparing the Pirates to Superman, which would be a fair comparison if we were to say the Pirates are the Superman IV: The Quest for Peace of pro baseball

Friday- With 1 day left prior to the rapture (BTW isn't it already May 21st in many other parts of the world?), the Bucs will square off against the Tigers tonight. Nuthouse is in the process of demanding all tickets for tomorrow night's Pride of Pine Richland bobblehead promo be sold by Noon today and all cash transferred to his bank account so he can cover the check he wrote to Mario for a spot on his Ark.

  The Mutiny has also learned, via SmizBlog, that the Bucs farm system is not nearly as talent soaked as many Pro's would lead us to believe. This comes as one of the biggest suprises of 2011, ranking somewhere behind Lindsay Lohan's next drug/alcohol related arrest and before Donald Trump admitting he drinks his own urine.

All in all, it should make for an interesting weekend in the world of Bucs baseball. And one last thing before the Rapture: SELL THE EFFING TEAM!

Also, spellcheck is not working, so there are probably a plethora of errors in this post.